Thoughts of a Presumptuous House Cat Laying in the Sun

Photo property of Jeffrey Lewis

My name is not Marvin
even though that is what you and your sister
decided to call me
after much deliberation,
when I was the last present
on that snowy Christmas morning.
My youthful coat was very handsome then
wasn’t it.
My real name
given to me by my beautiful calico mother
is Fredrick.
I think it’s a much better name
royal
refined
distinguished,
much like myself I might add.
No matter.
I suppose I must make some compromises
in order to find fresh Fancy Feast
placed in the cellar stairway every morning.
And don’t think I didn’t notice
it was the store brand you laid out yesterday.
Don’t get me wrong though
I do enjoy your company.
The contours of your face
make a wonderful pillow
in the dim hours just before dawn.
And you should enjoy my company.
You know you are very lucky to have me.
I could have sold
for nearly one hundred dollars
to that lady across town,
with the expansive back yard and
plush velvet couch
placed in front of the elegant marble fireplace.
Your pull out thingy in the guest room
isn’t all that bad I suppose
it’s perfect for sharpening my claws.
Oh my
look at how brilliantly my paws glisten
in the soft afternoon sun
washing across the carpet.
It’s moments like these
when I realize my existence is
truly magnificent.
I think I will venture outside today
and run around the yard really fast.
Sometimes I am amazed
at how ferocious and agile I can be.
Why just the other day I killed three mice.
They never really had a chance though.
on second thought
the humidity is rather high today
and I do feel slightly under the weather